Sunday, January 6, 2013

What do I want?

In the New Year’s Day yoga class I attended the teacher spoke about the Hindu God Ganesh.  Ganesh is the destroyer of evils and obstacles yet also can present himself as an obstacle as he holds the entire world in his stomach.  Ganesh will present these obstacles in your way if he knows that is what is needed. You can read more about Ganesh here: Ganesha: Overcomer of Obstacles.

As we look at the New Year we (I) look at crossing a threshold.  We do this as an easy way to start anew, move on, make changes, resolutions, set goals, intentions or whatever you would like to call it.  It is an easy way to mark time and the change of one’s course of action.  I feel like 2012 presented a lot of obstacles, I felt choked, overwhelmed and struggled yet I know now these obstacles served to teach great lessons.  I overcame these obstacles, I am on the other side of them now.  This threshold that is a new year fills me with hope.  Hopeful for all that will come, hopeful that the lessons that I learned in 2012 will serve me well in 2013 and hopeful that the time I have spent working on myself will manifest itself into something positive,something great.

We journaled some in that same New Year’s class and were asked what we wanted in 2013 and at first I looked at my blank page with near tears, feeling that after all of this self reflection, self revelation and soul searching I have done the last few months you would think that this would flow easily.    Easy to me were the three positives and challenges of 2012 but to contemplate what I wanted in 2013 was surprisingly difficult.   I had to take some more time to think about that.

What do I want?

I want to be happy

I want to make a difference in the world

I want  a job, a career, that allows me to make a difference.  One that I am excited to get up for and go to every day (OK almost every day)

I want to know that I do not need to worry financially

I want to find someone who will make me their priority (that one is hard to share here, but it is something I want and have recently allowed myself to say out loud)

I want to be happy (or content)

Those are some pretty lofty wants, but they are all achievable and I am ready to start moving towards them.  In fact, I have been moving towards them all along and I will continue to live day by day, taking small steps to achieve these grand things.

What do you want? 


  1. This is really great, Stacey. I completely understand that identifying what we want can be hard. I think it's wrapped up in what we feel we are worthy of. Only until recently was i able to let myself off the hook about things that I felt were my duty and let a little selfishness in. It feels good. What I want for the new year is a job that does not cause me to be very ill. My goal is to be doing something different, something healthy for me by January 1, 2014.

    1. Maybe reframe selfishness to be self care. Remember you are no good to others if you are not taking care of yourself.