Sunday, November 25, 2012

I was angry

Things that I have felt in the past week: anger, sadness, disappointment.  One thing that yoga has taught me is to honor all that presents itself.  While doing the asana (physical practice) I have really learned to do this.  In most classes there is at least one instance where I feel sore, push myself to my limit or doubt my ability.  A lot comes up both physically and emotionally and I choose to honor all of it.  By working on this in a safe space that has been created allows me to take lessons learned off of the mat.

When anger, sadness and disappointment arose in me this week I reflected on why and what was coming up and breathed a lot and that helped me to get through each instance really quickly.  One of the ways in which this manifested itself this week was when I was angry about “having” (this is a choice I have made and do not have to be doing this) to work this retail job I have found myself in, angry because I was scheduled to work a Friday and Saturday night.  I quickly realized I needed to get over myself, own my anger, process why and then not let it effect the job I was doing and the interactions I was having with others.  Also, guess what Stacey you are working retail and you just may need to work a couple of weekend nights. Things were not horrible; I was bringing in some income, and being treated quite well.  I spoke to my Manager and shared some of my stressors with having to work a Friday evening; I start my Fridays at 5:30am when I head out to hang out (remember I do not babysit) with these two little girls and then drive them to school and I have filled my Fridays with a number of other tasks.  The next day I came in and she had actually changed my schedule (for one week anyway).  I shared this story about being angry, owning it and moving through it quickly with someone who I have been getting support from and she made me pause for a second and clued me in to the fact that I had a supervisor who for the first time in a while heard my needs and made some changes to support me.

So not only am I ├╝ber aware of my emotions and how to honor them when they all come up, I have learned how to breathe in those moments, breathe in a way that is so deep, so cleansing and so helpful and as icing on the cake I am getting support from a source that I have not had much support from in quite some time.

I am grateful for all that I feel and I know with each emotion and situation I am in and react to comes another lesson that I am learning.  So I say to you like Rumi; "invite them in."
The Guest House  ~Rumi

This being human is a guest house.
Every morning a new arrival.
A joy, a depression, a meanness,
some momentary awareness comes
as an unexpected visitor.

Welcome and entertain them all!
Even if they're a crowd of sorrows,
who violently sweep your house
empty of its furniture,
still, treat each guest honorably.
He may be clearing you out
for some new delight.

The dark thought, the shame, the malice,
meet them at the door laughing,
and invite them in.

Be grateful for whoever comes,
because each has been sent
as a guide from beyond.