Soul Retrieval

Throughout this entire process, these past few months, I have been saying soul searching.  I have been doing a lot of soul searching, digging down deep inside to figure out the direction I want to head.

I am attending a workshop once a week for the next few weeks that started last week about crossing the threshold, finding your purpose and calling.  It is just the beginning of this workshop and I already know I am going to gain a lot from participating and I am sure I will have a lot to think about and process. As we were winding down last week one of the facilitators used the phrase soul retrieval instead of soul searching. He said it very matter-of-factly and it really struck me as being profound.  I commented on how I thought it was an interesting choice of words and explained that this entire time I had been soul searching but just hearing soul retrieval once it made so much more sense to me. It seemed less beyond me and more from within me.

When I looked for the definition of search dictionary.com provided the following (and some others):

1. to go or look through (a place, area, etc.) carefully in order to find something missing or lost

2. to look at or explore (a person, object, etc.) carefully in order to find something concealed

3. to explore or examine in order to discover

4. to look at or beneath the superficial aspects of to discover a motive, reaction, feeling, basic truth, etc.

While some of those definitions may resonate with me I see the soul search now as a very external pursuit, like I would be looking to find something out there that would complete me.  Something that was lost, something that has been missing.  Others may argue with that but after thinking instead about the word retrieval or retrieve I see a search as something out there that I must get to, something I am seeking, something beyond me.

Now when I looked up the definition of retrieve I found the following:

1. to recover or regain

2. to bring back to a former and better state; restore

3. to make amends for

4. to make good; repair

Recovering, regaining, restoring  to me all connotate digging up something that is already in you, something that is deep down inside.  I am working to retrieve what is already there.  There is nothing missing, it is all there it just needs to be retrieved. It needs to be manifested into next steps.  Now, external forces may come into play, absolutely this does and will continue to happen.  But, the answers that I am seeking are within me and will someday soon surface.